When I was pregnant I started following all of the IG and TiktTok accounts that spoke to motherhood. As I entered postpartum, I decided I was going to stay off of Social Media for a month or more for many reasons.
In fact, I did an entire “Audit” on my life just before my due date so that I could set myself up for postpartum. You can find the exact Audit I did in the 4th Trimester Workbook.
When I got back onto Socials 3 months later, I saw the same “hook” on (what seemed like) everyone’s account. I’ll admit, I was drawn in at first, but for every caption I clicked on, I came away feeling like I disagreed. What was the hook?
“3 things I wish I knew before becoming a mom…”
You will likely never hear me saying that particular sentence. Why? Because there were a lot of things I was told before becoming a mama that actually didn’t help me at all.
The trend of saying “what I wish someone told me before becoming a mom” makes me want to pull my hair out, and I’ve already lost about half of it due to postpartum hair loss.
Do you want to know what I wish someone told me before becoming a mom?
Nothing.
I learned everything at just the right time. I had very little expectations going into motherhood, mainly because I had nothing to go off of (no nieces or nephews) that my sibling had vented to me about. And to be honest, I preferred it this way. Knowing nothing was just what I needed to know before becoming a mama.
You know what I believe? We hear what we need to hear exactly when we need to hear it.
On a deeper level, anyone who wishes their experience to be different is fighting with reality, and you can fight with reality, but you will never win.
What does it look like to fight with reality? This looks like getting upset when you know your baby is only going to nap for 15 minutes in that swing. You can wish for a full hour so you can get some sleep too, but I will tell you right now, it is more exhausting to wish for a full hour, than it is to just accept the reality that a 15 minuter is what you’re going to get.
Need another example? Let’s say your husband parents differently than you. That’s the reality of the situation. Yet you spend weeks trying to correct him and instead you both end up fighting. That’s because you are fighting with reality, mama. How can you accept that your parenting styles are different? Once you surrender to this, you no longer fight with reality, which means you win.
Maybe you just heard that at exactly the right time. It sure is possible.
If I had to tell you what I wish I was told before motherhood it would be this…
Trust yourself, Mama.
Faith over fear.
Trust the process.
It’s all happening for you.
The Modern Mama Takes Action:
- What if you were to go into motherhood with no expectations? Maybe you’re in toddlerhood at this point, so think – what if you were to go into ages 2 and 3 with no expectations? Write down what that looks like for you. Notice how freeing it is.
- Download the 4th Trimester Newly Postpartum Workbook and complete the Audit.
- Write down all the areas you are currently fighting with reality. Think…what’s the reality, and how am I resisting, fighting, and wanting to desperately change it? How can I surrender and accept this?
