Do you make promises to yourself? Whether you realize it or not, you are likely making many promises to yourself daily. Insert mind chatter…I’m going to go for a walk today, it’s so nice out. I’m going to buy healthier food options this time. I’m going to stand firm with my toddler. Suddenly, you’re going to bed not having done any of those things, and the subtle promises you made to yourself, weren’t kept.
This is something I learned from Ed Mylett years ago. Start making promises to yourself, and keep them. You will build confidence in yourself that you never had before when you start simply doing what you say you are going to do. That’s what a promise to yourself is – doing something that you say you are going to do. It’s easier said than done, but I spent months making promises to myself so that I could get good at keeping them.
This made the promise I was making to myself when going into motherhood feel like it was already a done deal, but I knew even with the practice, it was going to be tough to keep.
So what was the promise I made to myself?
Go all in.
What did that mean to me?
Feel all the feels. Embrace the highs and the lows. Listen to your gut, don’t listen to anyone else unless it feels right to you. Surrender to what happens. Accept what you can’t control. Be present. Release all expectations. Don’t worry about what else you could be doing, or where else you could be. Go all in. Give it your all. Don’t worry about losing yourself, or your body, or your mind.
See that one was big to me. Having just gone through coach training and studies of the mind, I learned just how much control I have over it…I kept telling myself not to worry, I can coach myself in any situation. I can find the bright side in any moment. I can avoid postpartum anxiety and postpartum depression because I know I have control over my brain, I have the tools.
But then I thought…how unauthentic and exhausting that could be. Who really wants to find the bright side to a baby crying during witching hour, or when your husband goes back to work after 3 weeks, or when you haven’t slept for 3 hours consecutively in months? Nobody. Because you’re not supposed to.
I decided to make a promise to myself that I would go all in to the experiences that motherhood would bring.The best part about making that promise was that…I knew that I would keep it.
I had built that muscle. I had worked it out enough times to have trust in myself that when I said I would go all in, I knew I would.
So, what is my advice to you?
Make little promises to yourself here and there, and keep them. It can be as small as I’m going to wash my face today, or I’m going to do the laundry today, or I’m going to call my Mom today.
Build up to the big promises like “I am going to become an example of what’s possible for my daughter”, so that when you get THERE, you can consider that promise kept. And you’ll continue on with your days knowing that you’re doing it. You’re keeping that promise. You’re going all in on yourself, on motherhood, on marriage, on life itself.
Be willing to go all in on the ups and downs of motherhood. It will make what could be an exhausting and scary rollercoaster ride with tons of whiplash inclines and declines, be a thrilling rollercoaster ride with gentle inclines and declines that don’t leave you sick to your stomach.
The Modern Mama Takes Action:
- What does going all in look like for you? Maybe it means doing all of the diaper changes and not complaining once that your husband rarely changes one. How cool to imagine you’d never have to feel annoyed by that again. Why? Because you’re going all in.
- What promises am I going to make AND keep, knowing I should start small to build up the confidence. Write them down and start keeping those promises.
- Join my free community to keep this conversation going, or schedule a call with me so I can help you build this muscle!
